What is Chris Doing?

I know, it is the question we all ask ourselves daily, some of us hourly.  So I created a website.  You can check it out at www.whatischrisdoing.com and have all of your questions answered.

This blog will no be only as an archive to the new blog on the webpage.  I hope you enjoy it.  I have some photos up I have taken over the years and will get some artwork up there soon.  

Take care.

Stallingsworth Out.

I'm on the Interwebs.

Not sure if I am on the Google or not, but I'm on the Interwebber.  When I figure out how to move the blog, I will, and I will let you know.  

Nothing new today, but Tomorrow looks promising.  Why?  Its Friday and all of you knuckleheads that have to work will post on your Facebook something along the lines of , "Sweet Jesus Can't wait for 5 pm so I can get hammered, get up and get hammered again on Saturday, and have brunch with whomever on Sunday."  Nothing wrong with that, I just can't wait to do that myself.

Enjoy your Thursday.  Its nice out, I know, I went for a walk to Harbor East and back today.

Stallingsworth Out.

I got a new computer and got heckled for it.

I know I updated my FB and such today regarding this, but since I am not being paid for the endorsement, I am going to refer to this new computer in a descriptive manner you will read about below. I was gently nudged to start drawing again by a pretty amazing person and have been on a rampage lately.  Not so much as putting things on paper, but more so in my mind. The old version of Illustrator and Photoshop no longer work (as well as I would like) on the Magic Box (its actual name and server ID). It is full of updates and such and to use more than 2 layers, and Im limited in the size of them as well, is a pain.  I wiped the thing clean twice, but hey, its now a back up.  

Anyway, back from my aversion of telling the story, I was heckled at the Mall for carrying a giant white box with a piece of gray fruit on the side.  I was, I am not making this up.  It was while I was riding the escalator to the second floor near the Verizon stand and the pretzel stand.  I parked in that lot (that is amazing to find a spot there as well, but I have a Bat Cave spot people don't think is a spot, but it is.  Thats what working at Sbarro in high school gets you) and a guy who is looking at phones at the Verizon stand said, "Someone thinks he is hot shit."  My reply was simple.  It was not to gloat my purchase, but rather to cause this guy whom I had absolutely no contact with to mull over this for the rest of the day.  I simply got off of the escalator, stopped, faced directly to him, and showed him all four sides of the box. I smiled and walked out the door to my car.  

On my way from Towson to White Marsh to return a pair of shoes, I realized that there is a crap ton of mold in the air and its about allergy time.  My face was divided in half with pain and tightness from my sinuses.  So bad that I went home, still motivated to run, and laid down.  I ended up napping for 2.5 hours.  Im still feeling like crap, but better than before, but my equilibrium is a bit off and makes standing suddenly a lot of fun.

I am building a website.  The domain name is www.whatischrisdoing.com and will be up within the week.  I registered with godaddy.com, so you will see that site until I have it up or part of it up or maybe just a picture of something.  I think Ill do that instead. I am transferring things over from the not so Magic Box which takes FOR-EVVVV-VER, but over time I will get it up so that you may contribute to it as well.  If you want to.

I haven't ranted about anything in a while, but here you go....

Tagging me in Facebook things like a collage of pictures so I will tag you.  If you want to know which stupid picture I would associate you to, ask me.  I will be honest, I will pick the most insulting one, simply because it would be funny.  As convenient as it may be or cute as it is sly, it is a pain in my ass.  I have the application on my phone, which I removed today, and I have email.  I HAVE 34 MESSAGES FROM PEOPLE I DO NOT KNOW COMMENTING ON PHOTOS THAT ARE OF JAPANESE CAT CARTOONS WITH MY NAME ON IT!!!!!!!  I will get you back, and it will not be a flattering photo.  Check my FB page and see which photos I add and PLEASE comment on them like 6 different times referring to something I have absolutely no idea as to what it pertains to.  

Stallingsworth Out.

So long Teeing off, hello suiting up for work.

Well, it is sooooo freaking nice out, I had to go to work today. I know, you all are thinking, "Ah, so do I," but I was off for six weeks. Six weeks! I want six more! Bush Tax Cuts are awesome, but the president wasn't, so go figure that as well as that is what I would have lived off of for another 4 months.

Everyone new was about 24-25. I felt old. Then I remembered to shut my mouth, keep straight, as I am going to crush them in numbers, cause that is what I do. I will save you money on your car insurance, so in 3 months, lets do lunch.

At lunch I ordered an Italian cold cut and asked for hots, lettuce and tomaters. I got fried onions and mayonnaise. Mayonnaise kills me, like knots my upper intestine and gives me pain kills me. I don't know what it is, the combination of oil and egg yolk maybe? I wiped the bread clean, the meat, scraped off the onions.....but it doesn't matter. Just a tiny bit gets me. That's why I fancy Miracle Whip. I go the lite version because it has less sour cream in it, less of that tangy zip, but vital for tuna salad sandwiches. So now I can kiss this beautiful day away and have to wait until around 5 or 6 so to run, thanks to some mayo. I know, TMI, but guess what? Its my blog, I'm writing it. And why didn't I just send the sandwich back? I tried. I even walked to the kitchen and asked but no one wanted to look my way. I guess being a foot taller than the tallest kitchen worker maybe be a bit intimidating as well.

I also want to recommend the Perfect Pull-Up. You can do like 35 exercises if you get creative with it and you understand the principles of lifting and such. Alright, going to walk to the grocery store.... as I can now afford Organic milk again.

Stallingsworth out!

Do you remember when....

...you last played this game.
http://www.virtualapple.org/oregontraildisk.html

You are welcome, especially since you are at work. Oregon Trail is the tits. I made it all the way, first time ever. I even got a Top 10 score.

Its my buddy's birthday today, so that means bowling. Bowling parties are way cooler when you are older. You can drink. Although when you were a kid, you had Street Fighter and Pinball games as well. You don't seem them anymore.

I will be working on Monday, my funemployent comes to a close, but not worry, since I will be in front of a computer more often, I will blog more. I promise.

Stallingsworth Out.

F My Life

Okay, that title was harsh, but I have something for you, so hang tight, I will get to that in a bit.

Right now, I am deciding between some jobs, I have had a few offers, they are both promising, one is very promising, but the economy has to turn around and I would have to bust ass for 3-5 more years non stop. I'm all for it, I can do that, but I need to get paid while I work, not training and then getting paid. Its standard for the industry, but I have a mortgage, student loan, and a healthy addiction to organic milk, which we all know costs a bit more. Damn I love Organic Cows.
Enough with the job hunt. Be lucky you have a job, I hate doing nothing. I do go to the driving range a lot and my short game has greatly improved, but I am realizing my Driver is not the right one for me, so I need to get a new one, but my 3 wood is sweet, so Ill play a more accurate shot over distance in the rough any day.

Okay, so the F My Life part. Well, this site pops up from time to time and makes you laugh, then you forget about it. I recall seeing this a few years back, maybe a year, I don't know. My cousin in TX (he moved for a girl and he loves guns, so go figure) sent it to me. The first page is great, then they get weird, but there are some gems if you take about 10-15 minutes to read through them.
http://www.fmylife.com/

Stallingsworth out.

I cant make this up.

Wednesday's are great. G-man has the day off and with Funemployment still in full swing, we usually do something fun. Today was no different. We went to the Orioles store, my sister had purchased me a Baltimore Away jersey and were only sold there. We went to Legends, the museum, and we got $10 hats. No big deal.

Then to Fells to have lunch at Alexander's Tavern. Whoooooa boy. We sit down and this big dude strolls in and asks for a beer, doesn't matter which one, just wants a beer. As he is drinking, he is claiming, "This is my last one for a while, going to rehab, I'm a veteran, the Government is taking care of me." Well I am glad the government is helping those who have served it, I truly am, but man, after this dude left....the owner says to us, "That could have been bad."

Five minutes pass and this old guy comes in, drinking Sambuca (spelling?). He gets a bit tipsy and we start talking about Duke, he is a HUGE fan, as am I. The best part comes when he is telling stories about hanging with the old Baltimore Colts and how he used to party, get into fights, and fornicate with the Colts female friends of the players.

If I am still Funemployed next Wednesday, you know where I will be.

Stallingsworth out.

I need to do this more

I need to blog more, I know, yell at me. When you see me out, ask "Dude, where's your Blog?" to which I will reply, "I don't know Dude." The conversation will go like this...

You - You are unemployed....
Me - Funemployed. I went to the driving range today and a bike ride.
You - You suck, I wish I could do that.
Me - You can, you have a job, its called "Calling in Sick"
Bartender - Here is your tab.
Me - You are paying, I'm unemployed.
You - I thought it was Funemployed, you stressed Fun.
Me - I am also consulting you on how you can reduce stress. Think about it.

Actually job hunting is nice. I spent a lot of time setting the bait, now I have to reel in the lines. I have had 7 interviews in the past week including today, so a week and a day. I have a second interview tomorrow with a company I really like.

Okay, here is my GO FIGURE moment of the week.

Mia was gracious to bring and leave with me, her Rockband game. I love it. Last weekend that's all we did. I liked it so much, I bought the second one, but for the Xbox. I downloaded a bunch of new songs, loaded the old songs on, then you know, called people up to play. I get three flashing red lights that require me to send the damn thing back to Microsoft.

I get that when one door closes, another opens, but it should never be on the same parallel! Kudos to Mia being lazy and not picking up the game right away as I had a back up Rockband at the house and the night was saved.

If this was the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, here is your moment of Zen.


Stallingsworth Out.

The great State of Maryland

Okay, I know Im Funemployed right now and should be writing more and more, but damn, you really fill your day up with stuff. I take 4 hours a morning to job hunt and fill out applications, create job specific cover letters, and such.

During all of this, I have been dealing with the unemployment benefits. I have paid over $80,000 to this system in the past 3 years (they only give you the past 3 years) and they are only giving me $380.00 a week, which is the max, but still. Really? Here is the best part....it could take 21 days. I think our state flag should have a bunch of retards on it playing in the ball room licking the glass window. I paid into that system, I should be the first one to get paid! Damn.

Stallingsworth out.

Wow, talk about a head rush....

Okay.....its been almost 6 weeks since my last blog post.

Recently my dad was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer, but in his chest, since his germ cells never migrated to where they should be, based on the type of cancer he has. He just went through his second round of chemo, four more to go, until about May. He lost his hair, the lady at the bank said he looks 10 years younger, and he does....but now he is acting like it as well. Typical Big Jim, I love it. He and Wilson are doing fine, but Wilson (the name my father gave to his tumor) is starting to become ill, so I may say a few words about Wilson wen my sister gets married.
Here was the weekend....

January 30th
So on top of that, work was super stressful. I was working many hours, for lesser pay (I work in sales, so commission ya know? You get it, its part of the game, I like it.). However on January 30th, I was laid off....right in the middle of working a bid. I didn't feel bad being laid off. I made it to the Final Four ( I love college hoops...it is also 1:22pm on Monday...where are the new coach's polls?) of the lay-offs. I had a great run with my former employer, but it is time to move on. I don't feel upset, however I no longer feel overwhelmed...stressed...and more focused. Today, I wanted to get to the gym, finish off some film, but rather I was on the phone all morning with people who are looking out for me, giving me contacts, openings, and such. Thank you all.

Later that night the most incredible woman I know aside from my sister kept hyping up a "Special Star Wars" screening. I have never seen Star Wars and she feels it is something I have to do...pop culture wise. Her friends were in on it, my friends, damn, it was an air tight case. We take a cab to PowerPlant Live! and I am told we are going to Howl at the Moon. "Sweet" I think. Maybe some friends will meet us there for an embarrassing version of the Birthday Song. Instead I get dragged into Ramshead, we pick up the tickets and I jump up and down like a little girl going to see the Jonas Brothers, which turned out to be The English Beat. Check it out here...
http://www.google.com/musicl?lid=ptm0sGC0um&aid=A0P18y68I2C

January 31st
I turned 28 and my friends took me to Max's in Fells Point per my request and fed me Funemployment beers.

Feb 1st
I have imposed a ban on hanging with a Miss A. Cullen. She is a Steelers Fan. Not an obnoxious fan ( a rarity I know) but I think Kurt Warner should have be kissing the trophy rather than the Steelers and the NFL's referee squad. Seriously, I would have rather seen Ed Hocoli, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jb7yH673-8, call the game. Turn your speakers up, its a hilarious song, kinda like a Flight of the Concords rap with stupid digital beats and overly simple words to rhyme.
Miss A Cullen....Ill probably see you sometime this week, when I lift the ban since you are a close friend.

Feb 2nd.
Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow.....little bastard, I cant afford to enjoy the winter, so I'm praying for spring as mountain biking is free.

Stallingsworth out.