Thats right, click this link and follow the directions.....
http://www.beckskeyclub.com/BKC/2008/Coupon/pdf/Becks_KeyClub_Rebate.pdf
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Aliens, White dudes dressed as Black dudes who are Australian, and Transgender Golfing.
Yes, that is a random title, but thats what has crossed my face in the past 2 days. Since my sister has to work on Christmas, she and her husband to be came down this past weekend. While we exchanged gifts that day, I was gracious enough to score a copy of Tropic Thunder. Oh man do I love this movie, Robery Downy Jr makes it, along with Mr. Scientologist. Rent it, watch it, steal it from someone who has this movie (aside from me), but its great. Jack Black was shirtless, so for you chubby chasers out there, get some.
Another gift was Indiana Jones, the whatever of whatever. It sucked. Well, yeah, the action was overtop for an Indy fim, the jokes were corny like the previous movies and the tie ins to the previous movies were cool, but I really think who ever wrote this movie ran out of ideas. I think the guy who did Star Wars (never saw it, no desire to see it or any of them) wrote Indiana Jones. Well Indiana Jones had Aliens in it.......really. The Transformer kid was in there too. I could act better than him with a hangover and a mouth full of marshmellows. All three of the previous Indiana Jones films were somewhat believable. This 4th one, pure utter bullshit. They found the skull in the beginning, then had to chase it around the rest of the movie. Why not find it at the end, like the rest of the movies, and have a bad ass fight scene or a mine cart ride? Oh yeah, they ran out of ideas. This movie was just shy of being OKAY. Therefore I give it 2.5 turds out of a possible 4.
(4 out of 4 turds is a horrible movie, but watch it cause it sucks so bad, you laugh. The Transporter movies come to mind because Audi S8 cars CAN jump over 50 feet and up to a higher ledge after smashing through a garage barrier. 1 out of 4 turds is a pretty good movie, like CaddyShack or the Replacements, which I love both of them. A perfect score is zero turds, movies like Christmas Vacation, Tommy Boy, and Old School. Its my blog, so dont ask questions.)
Okay, so while reading Fox Sports on my phone today while getting some cold medicine ( we can get porn on our cell phones but we cant cure the common cold? Bullshit.) and Zycan, I learned that one of their top stories was about Lana Lawson who used to be a man, a SWAT cop, and a badass, is now a bartender who is the world champ at the longest drive for ladies 2008 trophy holder. I say kudos to her. She loved golf in her previous life, now has a way to play again. In 2005 the governing body of golf allows transgender players to play, so long as their test results for hormones and such, are in a normal level for a woman of their age and race and such. I guess Tour de France riders can cross this off of their to-do list. You can read about it here. http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/8979000/Ladies-tees?-Long-drive-champ-used-to-be-man
I think this is an interesting story and worthy of emailing around. It just gives people hope to not give up on their dreams. Sadly I will never wear an Orioles uniform, but I can go to the games and drink beer. You dont see a beer vendor in the dugout do you? Maybe they sneak it in like I do in Iced Tea bottles? If so, damnit, I thought I had the upper hand.
Stallingsworth
Another gift was Indiana Jones, the whatever of whatever. It sucked. Well, yeah, the action was overtop for an Indy fim, the jokes were corny like the previous movies and the tie ins to the previous movies were cool, but I really think who ever wrote this movie ran out of ideas. I think the guy who did Star Wars (never saw it, no desire to see it or any of them) wrote Indiana Jones. Well Indiana Jones had Aliens in it.......really. The Transformer kid was in there too. I could act better than him with a hangover and a mouth full of marshmellows. All three of the previous Indiana Jones films were somewhat believable. This 4th one, pure utter bullshit. They found the skull in the beginning, then had to chase it around the rest of the movie. Why not find it at the end, like the rest of the movies, and have a bad ass fight scene or a mine cart ride? Oh yeah, they ran out of ideas. This movie was just shy of being OKAY. Therefore I give it 2.5 turds out of a possible 4.
(4 out of 4 turds is a horrible movie, but watch it cause it sucks so bad, you laugh. The Transporter movies come to mind because Audi S8 cars CAN jump over 50 feet and up to a higher ledge after smashing through a garage barrier. 1 out of 4 turds is a pretty good movie, like CaddyShack or the Replacements, which I love both of them. A perfect score is zero turds, movies like Christmas Vacation, Tommy Boy, and Old School. Its my blog, so dont ask questions.)
Okay, so while reading Fox Sports on my phone today while getting some cold medicine ( we can get porn on our cell phones but we cant cure the common cold? Bullshit.) and Zycan, I learned that one of their top stories was about Lana Lawson who used to be a man, a SWAT cop, and a badass, is now a bartender who is the world champ at the longest drive for ladies 2008 trophy holder. I say kudos to her. She loved golf in her previous life, now has a way to play again. In 2005 the governing body of golf allows transgender players to play, so long as their test results for hormones and such, are in a normal level for a woman of their age and race and such. I guess Tour de France riders can cross this off of their to-do list. You can read about it here. http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/8979000/Ladies-tees?-Long-drive-champ-used-to-be-man
I think this is an interesting story and worthy of emailing around. It just gives people hope to not give up on their dreams. Sadly I will never wear an Orioles uniform, but I can go to the games and drink beer. You dont see a beer vendor in the dugout do you? Maybe they sneak it in like I do in Iced Tea bottles? If so, damnit, I thought I had the upper hand.
Stallingsworth
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Hybrid cars and your desire to smell like MEAT.
OK, I think the Hybrid is a great idea, I do. First you have to harvest Mercury, destroy the environment to make the battery, which some has estimated it causes about 80% of the damage of a standard car's average 8 year lifespan to the environment with carbon emissions.
Second, you have vigilantes driving 5 miles slower in the left lane, to prove a point. OK asshole, you drive a Hybrid, we see, now drive the city streets so you get better mileage and we don't burn more gas in abrupt acceleration after having to read your many stupid bumper stickers and causes us to be late for work. If you cant drive the city streets, drive in the right lane.
Kudos to Honda and Ford for making a hybrid look like a car and not the front of a monorail like Toyota choose to do.
Do you like meat? Do you think Axe body spray's scent reminds you of a frat boy who is so misaligned with the world you can only pity him? Then try this new body spray.
http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/
Click on the sprayer for alternate scenes. The King approves.
Stallingsworth
Second, you have vigilantes driving 5 miles slower in the left lane, to prove a point. OK asshole, you drive a Hybrid, we see, now drive the city streets so you get better mileage and we don't burn more gas in abrupt acceleration after having to read your many stupid bumper stickers and causes us to be late for work. If you cant drive the city streets, drive in the right lane.
Kudos to Honda and Ford for making a hybrid look like a car and not the front of a monorail like Toyota choose to do.
Do you like meat? Do you think Axe body spray's scent reminds you of a frat boy who is so misaligned with the world you can only pity him? Then try this new body spray.
http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/
Click on the sprayer for alternate scenes. The King approves.
Stallingsworth
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Douche Awards
Work has been kicking my ass. Im sure that it has been kicking your ass too, if you are employed, but Funemployment doesnt sound half bad.
Kudos to the White Power asshold that named his child Adolf Hitler Campbell. Thank God I dont live in the Dirty Jersey so my tax dollars will not have to support him when he is in a hospital for getting his ass kicked because the dickwad father is a bigot. Way to alienate your child crapface. If you wanted to name your kid something that noone in the world would have as a name, just play Boggle and http://www.careerhubblog.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/25/boggle_career_hub.jpg and pick letters. DOUCHE
Alright Orioles, lets get the Tex, bring him home, boost morale in the clubhouse and get over .500 for 2009.
Kudos to the White Power asshold that named his child Adolf Hitler Campbell. Thank God I dont live in the Dirty Jersey so my tax dollars will not have to support him when he is in a hospital for getting his ass kicked because the dickwad father is a bigot. Way to alienate your child crapface. If you wanted to name your kid something that noone in the world would have as a name, just play Boggle and http://www.careerhubblog.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/25/boggle_career_hub.jpg and pick letters. DOUCHE
Alright Orioles, lets get the Tex, bring him home, boost morale in the clubhouse and get over .500 for 2009.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I love this song.
You all know by now that National Lampoons's Christmas Vacation is one of my favorite movies, but have you ever seen the video for one of the best songs ever from the movie? I havent......until now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLiQBV6A7c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLiQBV6A7c
Old School Wrassling, Arab Money, and the C word.
OK, so yesterday I was using the Google and I searched Brutus the Barber Beefcake (BBB), of old school WWF Wrassling fame because one of my co-workers always comes up to me and say,"hey, remember this from growing up?" Yesterday was how wrassling used to be awesome when you were a kid. I remembered Brutus the Barber Beefcake and his long garden sheers and decided blog about him, but only after I watched Two and a Half Men last night, that this is all tied together, trust me.
Brutus the Barber Beefcake (http://www.brutusthebarberbeefcake.com/HOME.html) grew up with, trained, and wrassled with Terry Bollea, but you may know him as Hulk Hogan. People thought they were brothers growing up in the Limelight of the Wrassling world, but they werent. He is now a Christian born again, wrassels in the World Impact Wrassling, and is friends with Emilio Estevez, who is training to be a professional wrassler, I shit you not, it is on the wikipedia right herehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Leslie. Estevez was the guest star last night on Two and a Half Men, and he was looking pretty beefcake and had a sweet haircut, which is no doubt from Brutus the Barber Beefcake.
While into work, I heard the new Busta' Rhymes single, Arab Money. I have heard parts of it, its been out for a month, but I never really listened to it. I pulled the video, which you can view here http://vodpod.com/watch/1203462-video-busta-rhymes-arab-money and I must say, it is pretty funny. But Damn, when Busta goes political, you know its time to do something. I saw the MTV Cribs with his car collection and such. I would be pissed if I couldnt afford to put gas in my Ferrari too!
Over the weekend someone threw shoes at President Bush. It is the lowest insult to have the soles of one's shoes thrown at you, touch you, whatever, it is bad over there. We in America think its funny, and he is our President. Now when you pass out and someone gets you in the Arabian Goggles (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=arabian%20goggle), is that a highly praised compliment over there? It is still wrong and gross on so many levels here in America, but damn, it is still funny.
Thats all I got. I just hope today provides some good news.
Stallingsworth
Brutus the Barber Beefcake (http://www.brutusthebarberbeefcake.com/HOME.html) grew up with, trained, and wrassled with Terry Bollea, but you may know him as Hulk Hogan. People thought they were brothers growing up in the Limelight of the Wrassling world, but they werent. He is now a Christian born again, wrassels in the World Impact Wrassling, and is friends with Emilio Estevez, who is training to be a professional wrassler, I shit you not, it is on the wikipedia right herehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Leslie. Estevez was the guest star last night on Two and a Half Men, and he was looking pretty beefcake and had a sweet haircut, which is no doubt from Brutus the Barber Beefcake.
While into work, I heard the new Busta' Rhymes single, Arab Money. I have heard parts of it, its been out for a month, but I never really listened to it. I pulled the video, which you can view here http://vodpod.com/watch/1203462-video-busta-rhymes-arab-money and I must say, it is pretty funny. But Damn, when Busta goes political, you know its time to do something. I saw the MTV Cribs with his car collection and such. I would be pissed if I couldnt afford to put gas in my Ferrari too!
Over the weekend someone threw shoes at President Bush. It is the lowest insult to have the soles of one's shoes thrown at you, touch you, whatever, it is bad over there. We in America think its funny, and he is our President. Now when you pass out and someone gets you in the Arabian Goggles (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=arabian%20goggle), is that a highly praised compliment over there? It is still wrong and gross on so many levels here in America, but damn, it is still funny.
Thats all I got. I just hope today provides some good news.
Stallingsworth
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Gift for your friends
If you have an animal lover in your life, they would like one of these for Christmas. I thought it was fun to watch this little guy waddle around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHSb6JN6z7k&eurl=http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/11/lap-hippo.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHSb6JN6z7k&eurl=http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/11/lap-hippo.html
Semi-retarded midgets, Rain, and rules for men to live by.
Semi-retarded midgets. This number was one digit off from my client, so I had to post it. This is great. 973-409-3481. It takes you to Santa's workshop so you can place your order for what you want for Christmas. I say order because you really have to listen to it.
On a day like today, I can think of only one thing to do while it is raining. Other than running in the rain (its utopia, not that shitty sugar fruit drink from coca cola in the 90's either) watching Christmas movies would be a great day, with a pizza, beers, and some very close friends. Here are some you should watch.
Elf.....Duh, its great.
Trapped in Paradise. Nicholas Cage robs a bank....in a small town....at Christmas, kinda like Groundhog day.
A Christmas Story.....How does a piggy eat?
Home Alone, not part 2, or part 3....AHHHHHH.
Christmas Vacation.....Best Christmas movie ever, but "I'm afraid it wont be me Clark. See the Army replaced the metal plate in my head with a plastic one, every time the microwave went on I would crap my pants, and if I hit it, see, my part is right there as well, and my hair just wouldn't look right."
Some notable movies to consider:
Its a Wonderful Life, Scrooged, and Eight Crazy Nights.
Well here you are....International Man Laws. It made me laugh. No intention to hurt or harm.
INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party maybe legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10:You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11:It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12:Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16:Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17:A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18:Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19:If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20:Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21:Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:Yeah, Baby, Push it!C'mon, give me one more! Harder!Another set and we can hit the showers!
22:Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are both waiting in line. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23:Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.
24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly" just a friend"have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25:It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26:Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.
27:The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. (and a better snowboarding game, see yesterday's post for explanation)
28:There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.We hope this clears up any confusion.International Council of Manhood
Stallingsworth OUT
On a day like today, I can think of only one thing to do while it is raining. Other than running in the rain (its utopia, not that shitty sugar fruit drink from coca cola in the 90's either) watching Christmas movies would be a great day, with a pizza, beers, and some very close friends. Here are some you should watch.
Elf.....Duh, its great.
Trapped in Paradise. Nicholas Cage robs a bank....in a small town....at Christmas, kinda like Groundhog day.
A Christmas Story.....How does a piggy eat?
Home Alone, not part 2, or part 3....AHHHHHH.
Christmas Vacation.....Best Christmas movie ever, but "I'm afraid it wont be me Clark. See the Army replaced the metal plate in my head with a plastic one, every time the microwave went on I would crap my pants, and if I hit it, see, my part is right there as well, and my hair just wouldn't look right."
Some notable movies to consider:
Its a Wonderful Life, Scrooged, and Eight Crazy Nights.
Well here you are....International Man Laws. It made me laugh. No intention to hurt or harm.
INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party maybe legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10:You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11:It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12:Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16:Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17:A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18:Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19:If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20:Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21:Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:Yeah, Baby, Push it!C'mon, give me one more! Harder!Another set and we can hit the showers!
22:Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are both waiting in line. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23:Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.Hang up if necessary.
24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly" just a friend"have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25:It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26:Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.
27:The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. (and a better snowboarding game, see yesterday's post for explanation)
28:There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.We hope this clears up any confusion.International Council of Manhood
Stallingsworth OUT
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
God bless VHF TV broadcasts.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is in my top 5 movies of all time. I can quote it almost verbatem. I had a conversation the other day about TV and growing up and all that good stuff. Like the Solid Gold dancers, MTV playing videos, and having to adjust the rabbit ears on your TV just to get the sound in, let alone the picture. If you got both, you were having a good day.
I found this and thought it was worth sharing. http://betamaxmas.com/ Its pretty funny. I actually remember the Alf Christmas Special. I can even hear my dad calling, "go fix the rabbit ears and get me a beer."
Beer, when I was a kid, meant gathering all of the adults mugs and washing them with water, placing them back in the freezer, grabbing new frozen mugs, returning them to the adults, and then fetching a pitcher of beer from the fridge. My dad had a half keg (commonly referred to as a "whole keg" for parties, but actually not) in the fridge in the basement growing up. It had CO2 hooked up to it, had a tap that came through the door, and a professional drain tray that actually drained into the wash sink in the basement. My dad really loved beer. My dad still really loves beer. Im 150% he will still love beer.
So for Christmas, you can also get your dad one of these, based on your budget.
http://www.beveragefactory.com/draftbeer/kits/tkk.shtml
But if you are really hurting, you can always get him a tie.
I found this and thought it was worth sharing. http://betamaxmas.com/ Its pretty funny. I actually remember the Alf Christmas Special. I can even hear my dad calling, "go fix the rabbit ears and get me a beer."
Beer, when I was a kid, meant gathering all of the adults mugs and washing them with water, placing them back in the freezer, grabbing new frozen mugs, returning them to the adults, and then fetching a pitcher of beer from the fridge. My dad had a half keg (commonly referred to as a "whole keg" for parties, but actually not) in the fridge in the basement growing up. It had CO2 hooked up to it, had a tap that came through the door, and a professional drain tray that actually drained into the wash sink in the basement. My dad really loved beer. My dad still really loves beer. Im 150% he will still love beer.
So for Christmas, you can also get your dad one of these, based on your budget.
http://www.beveragefactory.com/draftbeer/kits/tkk.shtml
But if you are really hurting, you can always get him a tie.
Maxor gets a pay raise, yet city cuts back spending.
So Mayor Dixon approved a 2.5-2.9 increase on her salaray from $148,000 to $151,800-152,735.00 (depending on the rate). The city is cutting back trash removal, budgets for street cleaning, repairs, and schools, but the city council gets a cost of living increase?
First of all, thats bullshit. The cost of living raise is what causes inflation to keep going up in the first place. Secondly, We are cutting police force and reducing overtime. The Baltimore sun reported that approximately 12 deaths have been caused due to the lack of overtime for public service. Why was Dixon elected? I think a monkey scratching it's ass would do a better job. At least the city would save $152,800.
OH, BTW, I got my haircut today. About dang on time right?
First of all, thats bullshit. The cost of living raise is what causes inflation to keep going up in the first place. Secondly, We are cutting police force and reducing overtime. The Baltimore sun reported that approximately 12 deaths have been caused due to the lack of overtime for public service. Why was Dixon elected? I think a monkey scratching it's ass would do a better job. At least the city would save $152,800.
OH, BTW, I got my haircut today. About dang on time right?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I have a man crush on Tracy Morgan
As you all know, I think Tracy Morgan is one of the smartest and more random comdieans out there. Check this out.
http://coedmagazine.com/entertainment/44681/
Its his top 8 moments. I cant recall what the name of it was, but it was Tracy Morgan with the bath bubbles and he was Jamican and was doing a fake commercial for SNL about a body wash, I feel that should be included as well.
http://coedmagazine.com/entertainment/44681/
Its his top 8 moments. I cant recall what the name of it was, but it was Tracy Morgan with the bath bubbles and he was Jamican and was doing a fake commercial for SNL about a body wash, I feel that should be included as well.
What to get your brother, Gay is the new Black, and Video Games.
Your brother wants something he doesnt have, he like me, buy what he wants, when he wants it, and doesnt really care about price too much.
Get him this.....
http://shop.lego.com/ByCategory/Product.aspx?p=851502&cn=13&d=443
and this...
http://shop.lego.com/ByCategory/Product.aspx?p=852214&cn=13&d=443
Its random, it taps in to the childhood memories and if anyone is paying attention, I want these for myself.
Im mean really, its 2009 almost, in 3 weeks or so. Gay is the new Black? I get your point, but I know this will cause some issues with some fundamentalists. It is a broad statement for sure and you need to be smart to realize there are diffferences, but in a nutshell, the gay and lesbian community are still living as restricted citizens as they cannot marry. Al Sharpten and Jessie Jackson are gonna be all over MSNBC this weekend. And with that said, I cant wait, because that means SNL will make fun of them. That chubby black dude on SNL, Kel I think, he is hilarious and would be a find Rev. Al Sharpten.
I can imagine that if you want to marry someone and legally you cant, that sucks. It doesnt inflict on anyone, it doesnt harm anyone but those who cant marry, and that REALLY SUCKS. I dont know what that is like, but I can imagine it is horrible. Here is a great article.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653?gt1=43002
If you want to marry, marry. Love is blind, the truth hurts, and politics should not interfere with the bond between two people.
I cant stop playing Amped 3. http://2ksports.com/games/amped3/ I want to snowboard so much, I have to resort to video game snowboarding right now. With that said, please someone make a new snowboarding game. Amped 2 was awesome, but I beat it. Amped 3 is retarded cartoony and plays into the stereotype that all snowboarders are stoners. Nothing wrong with that, but we also hold decent jobs, pay taxes, and fold our own laundry. And the grab system sucks.
Stallingsworth out.
Get him this.....
http://shop.lego.com/ByCategory/Product.aspx?p=851502&cn=13&d=443
and this...
http://shop.lego.com/ByCategory/Product.aspx?p=852214&cn=13&d=443
Its random, it taps in to the childhood memories and if anyone is paying attention, I want these for myself.
Im mean really, its 2009 almost, in 3 weeks or so. Gay is the new Black? I get your point, but I know this will cause some issues with some fundamentalists. It is a broad statement for sure and you need to be smart to realize there are diffferences, but in a nutshell, the gay and lesbian community are still living as restricted citizens as they cannot marry. Al Sharpten and Jessie Jackson are gonna be all over MSNBC this weekend. And with that said, I cant wait, because that means SNL will make fun of them. That chubby black dude on SNL, Kel I think, he is hilarious and would be a find Rev. Al Sharpten.
I can imagine that if you want to marry someone and legally you cant, that sucks. It doesnt inflict on anyone, it doesnt harm anyone but those who cant marry, and that REALLY SUCKS. I dont know what that is like, but I can imagine it is horrible. Here is a great article.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653?gt1=43002
If you want to marry, marry. Love is blind, the truth hurts, and politics should not interfere with the bond between two people.
I cant stop playing Amped 3. http://2ksports.com/games/amped3/ I want to snowboard so much, I have to resort to video game snowboarding right now. With that said, please someone make a new snowboarding game. Amped 2 was awesome, but I beat it. Amped 3 is retarded cartoony and plays into the stereotype that all snowboarders are stoners. Nothing wrong with that, but we also hold decent jobs, pay taxes, and fold our own laundry. And the grab system sucks.
Stallingsworth out.
Im sorry for the hiatus.
OK, I said I have a lot going on and I will not post on the weekends. Sometimes I may, but dont count on it.
Just an update.....like that fat ass on the Boston Redsox Fan Network who yells back back back back back back back of the line! I was at the buffet first! does with football on MNF.
Thursday. I have awesome friends. We all gathered at the Monument for the lighting. Old ones and new ones were there. It was a lot of fun. Shame on Doroughty's (spelling is wrong, I know, too lazy too look it up) for not letting the one person out of 9 not drink. Well guess what, she did, it was awesome to have a Celtic band in the corner jam out. It made the night. We then headed to the Drinkery for a few. Yes it is a gay bar. Yes it was a lot of fun. I forget the dude's name, but he said and I quote,"You better give your woman the lovin' she deserves, or I'll go straight!" I then sung Love Shack with his partner and my friends wife. Trying to sing like Brian Wilson to hit the high notes was hard, especially after a few hours of drinking and being in the cold. Kudos to that place for making strong drinks. I like potato juice (the healthy name for vodka).
Friday I stayed in and watched 30 Rock, cause I Tivo it and never know when shows are on now, thanks to Tivo. Tracy Jordan is Hilarious. Liz Lemon is Hilarious. Jack is hilarious with a lower case "h" cause he creeps me out sometimes, but the dark horse award goes to Cathy, the CEO. Do you remember last season when she spat out a hot wheels car? I spat out my beer when I was watching it I was laughing so hard.
Saturday, I ran with Megan. We trained with Karen for the half marathon. It was 23 degrees on the Volvo's dashboard and it felt every bit of it while running through REL park. My hamstring was upset, so I got like 3 miles in. She did 4. Again, it was 8 in the morning and 23 degrees out. Famous People who wore/wear #23...Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Chris Holies. The last one was a joke, but I love the Orioles.
Sunday, I felt like crap, so I slept. I missed the Ravens/Redskins game. The Giants sucked ass, and lost to Philly. BUT, the Cowboys lost, so the G-men have the NFC East. I really think the Ravens are going to win on Sunday, but it wont be pretty. Ray Lewis wants to put Big Ben in the ground. 20-13 Ravens. Ray Rice will catch a pass from Flacco for one TD, Heap will get the other, he is due. Ray Lewis will have 2.5 sacks. Suggs will assist him on the one, and Nata will have one as well.
Monday was.
Now you are caught up.
Just an update.....like that fat ass on the Boston Redsox Fan Network who yells back back back back back back back of the line! I was at the buffet first! does with football on MNF.
Thursday. I have awesome friends. We all gathered at the Monument for the lighting. Old ones and new ones were there. It was a lot of fun. Shame on Doroughty's (spelling is wrong, I know, too lazy too look it up) for not letting the one person out of 9 not drink. Well guess what, she did, it was awesome to have a Celtic band in the corner jam out. It made the night. We then headed to the Drinkery for a few. Yes it is a gay bar. Yes it was a lot of fun. I forget the dude's name, but he said and I quote,"You better give your woman the lovin' she deserves, or I'll go straight!" I then sung Love Shack with his partner and my friends wife. Trying to sing like Brian Wilson to hit the high notes was hard, especially after a few hours of drinking and being in the cold. Kudos to that place for making strong drinks. I like potato juice (the healthy name for vodka).
Friday I stayed in and watched 30 Rock, cause I Tivo it and never know when shows are on now, thanks to Tivo. Tracy Jordan is Hilarious. Liz Lemon is Hilarious. Jack is hilarious with a lower case "h" cause he creeps me out sometimes, but the dark horse award goes to Cathy, the CEO. Do you remember last season when she spat out a hot wheels car? I spat out my beer when I was watching it I was laughing so hard.
Saturday, I ran with Megan. We trained with Karen for the half marathon. It was 23 degrees on the Volvo's dashboard and it felt every bit of it while running through REL park. My hamstring was upset, so I got like 3 miles in. She did 4. Again, it was 8 in the morning and 23 degrees out. Famous People who wore/wear #23...Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Chris Holies. The last one was a joke, but I love the Orioles.
Sunday, I felt like crap, so I slept. I missed the Ravens/Redskins game. The Giants sucked ass, and lost to Philly. BUT, the Cowboys lost, so the G-men have the NFC East. I really think the Ravens are going to win on Sunday, but it wont be pretty. Ray Lewis wants to put Big Ben in the ground. 20-13 Ravens. Ray Rice will catch a pass from Flacco for one TD, Heap will get the other, he is due. Ray Lewis will have 2.5 sacks. Suggs will assist him on the one, and Nata will have one as well.
Monday was.
Now you are caught up.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
MSN.com, Laser Portraits, and Sexy People
I love this site. I get my news, I get some gossip, I get sports (from Foxsports.com no less which is way better than the Boston Redsox Sports Network with some fat ass yelling "back back back back back back back to the buffet line for me!") and some occcasional snipets like this gem....
This was located on the main page of www.msn.com at 10:53am. I had to post it, cause I cant fathom that eating something would get you a second date.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlemcmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=14163225>1=32023
There is a bunch of bullshit on there that is lame, yada yada yada, and then you get to the list of what the dude is thinking. We actually think stuff like this, but not that extreme, some may, but myself and a few of my friends ( I said a few, there are some decent dudes out there, and I am one of them). Here is the best line....
Dessert: "When a man says, 'Let's share a few desserts,' he's automatically getting to third base. Full disclosure: I've pulled this move."
BAM! And there you have it.
NOW....something we all knew about. Either you wanted one, had one, or regret begging your folks for one....I give you http://www.laserportraits.net/. Yes, it is time to laugh your ass off. As you scroll through, you will find links to some great stuff, but the best is the Sexy People blog. I dont know how or why, but I really dont want to ask, kinda like Santa Clause or Hanunka Harry.
Here are the Sexy people. This actually one of the hidden gems on the Laser Portrait site. http://renz-o.blogspot.com/
You will mostly see pictures that resemble photos of your uncles and cousins that are either not allowed in the family anymore because of their drinking or because you have no idea what happened to them. I warn you....there are many mustaches and mullets here.
If you dig deeper, you will find this link....http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/search/label/Renzo's%20Faves. Here are Renzo's favorite pictures. Here you find evolution pictures, like 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades right in a row. I have no idea who Renzo is, but I want to buy him or her a beer. This is great. I cant stop laughing right now as I type.
Please note that Renzo likes the style of the mullet with mustache and often favors those who rockthe mullet, mustache with a gold chain over their sweater look. So if you want to make the grade, you know what you are up against.
OK, you have enough. If someone says or does something stupid, Ill be back at ya.
Stallingsworth OUT.
This was located on the main page of www.msn.com at 10:53am. I had to post it, cause I cant fathom that eating something would get you a second date.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlemcmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=14163225>1=32023
There is a bunch of bullshit on there that is lame, yada yada yada, and then you get to the list of what the dude is thinking. We actually think stuff like this, but not that extreme, some may, but myself and a few of my friends ( I said a few, there are some decent dudes out there, and I am one of them). Here is the best line....
Dessert: "When a man says, 'Let's share a few desserts,' he's automatically getting to third base. Full disclosure: I've pulled this move."
BAM! And there you have it.
NOW....something we all knew about. Either you wanted one, had one, or regret begging your folks for one....I give you http://www.laserportraits.net/. Yes, it is time to laugh your ass off. As you scroll through, you will find links to some great stuff, but the best is the Sexy People blog. I dont know how or why, but I really dont want to ask, kinda like Santa Clause or Hanunka Harry.
Here are the Sexy people. This actually one of the hidden gems on the Laser Portrait site. http://renz-o.blogspot.com/
You will mostly see pictures that resemble photos of your uncles and cousins that are either not allowed in the family anymore because of their drinking or because you have no idea what happened to them. I warn you....there are many mustaches and mullets here.
If you dig deeper, you will find this link....http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/search/label/Renzo's%20Faves. Here are Renzo's favorite pictures. Here you find evolution pictures, like 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades right in a row. I have no idea who Renzo is, but I want to buy him or her a beer. This is great. I cant stop laughing right now as I type.
Please note that Renzo likes the style of the mullet with mustache and often favors those who rockthe mullet, mustache with a gold chain over their sweater look. So if you want to make the grade, you know what you are up against.
OK, you have enough. If someone says or does something stupid, Ill be back at ya.
Stallingsworth OUT.
What your sister NEEDS for Christmas
My sister is impossible to shop for. Why? Because she is an adult. Adults have this thing called a job, where they receive money to buy stuff. Since she fits the bill as an adult, we shall assume she has a job (she does in fact) and buys stuff ( I have seen it). I dont know a person who buys stuff because they dont want it or need it. Maybe they think they would eventually like it, or need it, thats different, because that is called prediciting the future. Im not talking about buying bulk toilet paper when you need a few squares now or a case of beer and you are only going to drink 3 tonight. If you can think of anything, leave a comment.
The trick is finding something my sister doesnt know she wants.....and since mine may be reading this blog.....I am not going to disclose this here. I do give props to those who helped me determine her gift(s). Sister, lets just say you will be either shocked on Christmas, or really pissed at me that I wasted money on another year's worth of crap.
BUT....here is what your sister wants for Christmas....
http://disneyshopping.go.com/disney/store/DSIProductDisplay?catalogId=10002&storeId=10051&productId=1237133&langId=-1&categoryId=11875&CMP=KNC-DSSYahooShopping&HBX_PK=59025M
It is good for a laugh for this year, and since you bought it online, you cant really return it. So in 5 years she can wear it at an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party which by the way, is a tacky not so creative way to celebrate Christmas, but I'll stop by if invited, as my sweater (if I choose to wear one) will be dapper and not ugly.
The trick is finding something my sister doesnt know she wants.....and since mine may be reading this blog.....I am not going to disclose this here. I do give props to those who helped me determine her gift(s). Sister, lets just say you will be either shocked on Christmas, or really pissed at me that I wasted money on another year's worth of crap.
BUT....here is what your sister wants for Christmas....
http://disneyshopping.go.com/disney/store/DSIProductDisplay?catalogId=10002&storeId=10051&productId=1237133&langId=-1&categoryId=11875&CMP=KNC-DSSYahooShopping&HBX_PK=59025M
It is good for a laugh for this year, and since you bought it online, you cant really return it. So in 5 years she can wear it at an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party which by the way, is a tacky not so creative way to celebrate Christmas, but I'll stop by if invited, as my sweater (if I choose to wear one) will be dapper and not ugly.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thanks to Emily Groene for this one. Have a safe time overseas with the Peace Corps.
I cant stop laughing.....
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847
I cant stop laughing.....
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847
When in a Funk, get out of it.
OK, so by now everyone knows that I along with my two closest friends, ran the half marathon this past year in Baltimore. Well you know what? I had a severe bone bruise in my right foot and had to stay off of it until this morning.
The X-Rays were negative on my foot, the tests I passed and this morning, I got up, put on my man-ass tights (I must say, I dont look half bad in tights) and ran once around Patterson Park (1.73 miles) and was feeling good. Feeling good except for the fact that I would do that twice and not even sweat while on long runs.
So feeling bummed about it, I was discussing this with a friend and we both decided, hey, lets get back out there, lets go running again. So with that, its back to the trail this Saturday. While you or someone you know are sleeping off a hangover, Ill be running in the morning. Im not trying to be pompous or come accross as holier than thou as I have slept in many of times rather than going to the gym, but I am excited to run again, its my blog, and if you dont like it, tough shit, you just read it.
The X-Rays were negative on my foot, the tests I passed and this morning, I got up, put on my man-ass tights (I must say, I dont look half bad in tights) and ran once around Patterson Park (1.73 miles) and was feeling good. Feeling good except for the fact that I would do that twice and not even sweat while on long runs.
So feeling bummed about it, I was discussing this with a friend and we both decided, hey, lets get back out there, lets go running again. So with that, its back to the trail this Saturday. While you or someone you know are sleeping off a hangover, Ill be running in the morning. Im not trying to be pompous or come accross as holier than thou as I have slept in many of times rather than going to the gym, but I am excited to run again, its my blog, and if you dont like it, tough shit, you just read it.
What your mom really wants for Christmas.
Hello Everyone.
A few of my friends have tried to get me on the blog network since I ususally have some funny, redonkulousness ( it is spelled correctly, I just like to create my own words, more on that as you read this blog, maybe not today, but you will see) stuff to say and I do not have a filter on my mouth, so it creates funny yet akward turtle moments.
I named this blog after a friend of mine labled some pictures from my Christmas party of 2007. Shavonne decided that it was a Stallingsworth Affair, so that is what I decided to name the blog. It is a nickname that sticks, kinda like Stalls, Stallings, and douche bag (thank you Megan for that one).
Well, work sucks, I canceled my Christmas party due to having too much going on right now (more on that later, its just too early to release details, but please refrain from asking or gossip) and I have no idea what to get my family for Christmas. So with that....here are my suggestions for what to get your loved ones for Christmas. Come back later for more, but today, this is for your mom (that's what she said).
Your mom.
Mom's love earrings, so what about these? They make a brash statement about the economy, add some sparkle, go with everything, and says "I am a classy woman".
http://www.costumecraze.com/image.php?imagefile=http://img.costumecraze.com/images/vendors/rubies/774-large.jpg
Seriously....I just found this site while looking for the picture above. Its like Hot or Not's website, where you can judge if your ex or your current squeeze makes the grade for society's messed up view on how woman and men should look, but this is waaaaaay more gangsta, more hood, more ghetto, and just down right funny. Click here....http://www.seemygrill.com/, see, now didnt that make you laugh?
Stallingsworth.
A few of my friends have tried to get me on the blog network since I ususally have some funny, redonkulousness ( it is spelled correctly, I just like to create my own words, more on that as you read this blog, maybe not today, but you will see) stuff to say and I do not have a filter on my mouth, so it creates funny yet akward turtle moments.
I named this blog after a friend of mine labled some pictures from my Christmas party of 2007. Shavonne decided that it was a Stallingsworth Affair, so that is what I decided to name the blog. It is a nickname that sticks, kinda like Stalls, Stallings, and douche bag (thank you Megan for that one).
Well, work sucks, I canceled my Christmas party due to having too much going on right now (more on that later, its just too early to release details, but please refrain from asking or gossip) and I have no idea what to get my family for Christmas. So with that....here are my suggestions for what to get your loved ones for Christmas. Come back later for more, but today, this is for your mom (that's what she said).
Your mom.
Mom's love earrings, so what about these? They make a brash statement about the economy, add some sparkle, go with everything, and says "I am a classy woman".
http://www.costumecraze.com/image.php?imagefile=http://img.costumecraze.com/images/vendors/rubies/774-large.jpg
Seriously....I just found this site while looking for the picture above. Its like Hot or Not's website, where you can judge if your ex or your current squeeze makes the grade for society's messed up view on how woman and men should look, but this is waaaaaay more gangsta, more hood, more ghetto, and just down right funny. Click here....http://www.seemygrill.com/, see, now didnt that make you laugh?
Stallingsworth.
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